Sleepless in Indianapolis

So, if you didn't already know, we lost custody of Chocolate Chip to her father a week before her 5th birthday (she'll be 11 in 3 weeks). It was sudden, unexpected, and horrible, preceded by a very long, complicated court battle. This Tuesday (in 2 days), we are going to be evaluated to see about getting her back. Me, Mark, Chocolate Chip, Emma, Chocolate Chip's father, and his wife all have to go downtown to be interviewed. It will likely last all day. (Prayers are VERY much appreciated)

I have 3 wonderful friends who have volunteered to come watch over my mom for me in shifts all day, so she won't be alone. In the last week or so, she has been falling &/ fainting regularly, so that she can't even be trusted to walk to the bathroom alone.

Anyway, my lawyer told me that whatever these people on Tuesday decide, is pretty much what the court does, so it's EXTREMELY important. At first, I had no idea what to expect, and thought these people would come to the house, and probably wouldn't want to talk to Emma much. Well, they don't want to see the house, so I guess that's one less thing to worry about. However, Emma gets her own interview. By herself. When I first found out they would be talking to her, I told Emma she would have to talk to somebody about Sissy alone, and not to be scared or nervous. She said "well, that's easy. I'll just tell them that they're just stupid. I just want my Sissy." *sigh*

Then there's Chocolate Chip, who has always been scared of her own shadow, and very shy. Plus, I'm sure her father and stepmother have been coaching her on what to say. *deep breath*

Then there's the fact that it's supposed to be an ALL DAY process, with two kids who are essentially only children most of the time, but really siblings, stuck in a small waiting room. I just wanna cry at the thought. I'm trying so hard not to think about it, not to worry about it, and to trust God, but there's SO MUCH that could go wrong. I don't know that I would survive it if the judge says Chocolate Chip has to stay with her father. Our court date isn't until March 4 (3 days before Chocolate Chip's birthday). I don't even know if I should be expecting a decision at court, or if we'll have to wait.

I just can't wait for the whole thing to be over. Really. Really can't wait. Can we just fast forward the next few weeks?

Dana

Original or Extra Crunchy?

So, in case you didn't know, this winter has been TERRIBLE!!! It all started when we got 11" of snow, followed by -13º F temperatures BEFORE the wind chill. It would warm up just enough to slightly melt the snow, and snow some more, get super cold again, rinse, and repeat. Needless to say, we've hardly gone anywhere, or done much of anything. We get out for Mass, grocery, and that's pretty much it. It's just so hard to push a wheelchair in sludge, ice, and snow. Plus, it has been SOOOO COLD!!!

That leads me to my mom. Still no firm diagnosis, and she finally put a stop to testing. Whatever it is, it's definitely getting worse again. She hardly has an appetite anymore, and sometimes goes all day without eating. If she tries to eat when she doesn't feel hungry, she gets super nauseous, and feels miserable.

Anyway, we finally got out of the house (for fun) yesterday, and went to a friend's house for a playdate. While we were there, we were talking, and the mom asked me about flu shots. I said I used to, but not anymore, I just use Thieves Oil instead. She said, "yeah, I thought you were crunchier than that". "Crunchy". I'd seen/heard the term used here and there on Facebook, but really didn't know what it meant. So I Googled. Turns out, I am fairly crunchy. "Crunchy" refers to the crunch of granola, which is stereotypically the snack of choice for these moms. That was a relief, because I thought it referred to a lack of hygiene! LOL Click here for a quiz to see how crunchy you are. I scored a 93. If you want more info about Crunchy vs. Silky (the opposite of Crunchy) vs. Scrunchy (somewhere in between), this blog looks good.

If you don't feel like clicking, here's the gist of what being crunchy entails (as I understand it):

* Breastfeeding exclusively, and child-led weaning (even if that means the child can expressly ask for it at age 3, 4, whatever) - Chocolate Chip physically couldn't breastfeed, and Emma had to be weaned just before she turned 1, because she kept pushing me away while suckling, bringing me to tears regularly.

* Wearing only skirts - yes, as of last summer, in an attempt at modesty.

* Homeschool or un-school - Absolutely!

* Eating your placenta - Ew! No!

* Cloth diapering - never have, but would at least try it if we have another baby.

* Co-sleeping - only logical when you breastfeed. Did it with Emma, would do it again.

* Baby wearing - totally would.

* Not vaccinating/only selectively vaccinating &/ using essential oils in place of/to supplement modern medicine - YES! I don't think I'll be vaccinating anymore, or if I do, it'll take some serious convincing. I've come to believe quite strongly in the healing power of essential oils, and what a gift from God they are.

* Growing &/ buying only organic - not there yet, but I could see doing it at some point.

There's others too, but that gives you an idea. Crunchy, Silky, or Scrunchy, it's all good. Just follow your heart, trust God, and all will be well. ♡

Dana

Homeschool Drama

The other day, my MIL took Emma out for awhile, so I could unpack in peace (BTW, the new house is wonderful, but things have been NUTS!!). When she brought her back, she made a big deal about how they had met some kids for her to play with. My MIL does not get homeschooling at ALL. She must have said 5 or 6 times something along the lines of "(fill in the blank) when Emma starts school...". Each time, I said "she's already in school." Finally, I just ignored her, at the risk of saying something I'd need to go to Confession for. ;-)

So, anyway, I thought when Emma's Drama Camp came around, I would invite my MIL to the performance, so she could see how many kids Emma plays with (and that was actually a small sample, as we have other friends too). Well, when my MIL arrived, she commented on how MANY kids there were, running around. I said yes, this is our homeschool group that we do stuff with (I wanted to point out that I'm not the outcast freak she thought I was, and that I do indeed "socialize" the child). That of course, prompted a debate about homeschool vs. public school vs. Catholic school. Thankfully, the husband of one of my friends was right next to me, and he took her on. Quite successfully too. We told her about Common Core, and how God isn't allowed in public school anymore. We talked about testing, and all kinds of stuff. I think we maybe started to sway her a little. If that didn't totally take, then maybe Emma's birthday party will. The same family she debated with will be there. :-)

Drama Camp was awesome!!! The kids had so much FUN! They did the Gingerbread Cookie, and the kids decided what character to be, they painted the sets, one of them even did the face painting. Then at the show, they sold tickets and had a bake sale for charity. It was wonderful, and the rain even held off long enough for the show and dinner afterwards!

Emma was a pug puppy, and her line was "You look delicious, I want to eat you! Woof woof!" She belted it out, so everyone could hear, then after the kids all took a bow, Emma, who had been stuck behind some bigger kids, came to the front, and struck a pose. That's my girl! It was so great, she's already decided she's going back next year! :-D

Meant to Be!

We got the house! We are all so excited! The new house has five bedrooms, and three bathrooms. One bedroom and bathroom are on the first floor, so my mom can have her own space, including keeping her current living room set in the new living room. Our living room set will go upstairs in the giant loft/family room. Most of the bedrooms are huge, and all have walk-in closets. The walk-in closet in the master bedroom is big enough for a crib and changing table (seriously!)! It's also already fenced in, so we can just put the dog(s?) outside without worry, and the back of the property is right against the community tennis courts, basketball court, volleyball, pool, and playground. There's also a baseball diamond, pond, and soccer field just down the road. The garage is huge, and has plenty of space for Mark's woodworking tools. We couldn't ask for a more perfect place for the entire family. Plus, it's not too far from our current neighbors to come play, and even closer to some of my other friends. :-)

                     

Chocolate Chip hadn't yet seen the new house, so we went there today, to show her, and to measure spaces for moving in. When we arrived, one of our new neighbors from across the cul-de-sac was outside, spraying weeds. As we were getting out of the car, our realtor was talking to her. She said her name was Marilyn (seemed very nice, friendly, and out-going). She said that when she moved in in 2008, she didn't know anybody, and now she feels like everybody in the neighborhood is family! I about got goose bumps! From the time I was in fifth grade, until I got married, we lived across from a fabulous elderly lady named Marilyn. She was very friendly, sweet, out-going, and was always outside in the summer time, doing things in the yard. She didn't have any children, and we soon adopted her as family. She came to call my kids her "Greats" (great-grandchildren), and we loved her as a mother/grandmother/great-grandmother. We eventually even took care of her, and my mother served as her Power-of-Attorney. To find out that our new neighbor across the street was a lady named Marilyn (from the look of it, probably my mom's age, or a little older), was like a sign from above that we did the right thing in buying this house. As of right now, we're planning on closing on the new house mid-October. Of course, Emma's birthday is October 9, and she wants her party in the new house, so we'll see.

It's all very exciting! Housewarming party in the near future...stay tuned for details!

Dana

House

House hunting with three very different adults is definitely not fun or easy...in case you wondered. I'm a city girl, but laid back, tend to go with the flow. Mark is a country boy (or at least, thinks he is), and it has to at least seem to him like it's his idea. My mom is very OCD, anal, very type A, which made her a wonderful nurse, but historically hard for me to live with. Try putting those three personalities together and go house hunting! If I loved it, he hated it, if he loved it, it was the west side of Danville, or the southeast side of Indianapolis. If mom loved it...nevermind. Mom didn't love anything.

We all found a beautiful home in Brownsburg acceptable, but Mark didn't think he'd fit in. I had all but given into the fact that between Mark and my mom, what I wanted wasn't happening, and I would just deal with whatever. Turned out it had an accepted offer anyway.

Well, we finally found a house we all love. I love the location, and the huge walk-in closets (the master bedroom's closet is big enough for a crib and changing table - no joke!). Mom loves the first floor bedroom and full bath. Mark loves the area, and yard. Even the girls love it. The heavens opened, and the angels are singing! We just have to sell mom's condo, which went on the market on Monday, and get out of this house without a problem...before somebody else finds our new house as wonderful as we did.

God Bless! :-)

Dana

Changes...

A couple of days ago, I posted my rant, and then a few minutes later, I posted about changes. The really weird part is that only my first post appears now, even though, that night I saw both of them...

Anyway, there have obviously been a lot of changes in our family over the last few months, and we are looking at even more coming our way. The most exciting change happened two days ago, when 4 1/2 year old Emma lost her first tooth! She was so scared and worried about it, that she wouldn't let anybody pull it, and she wouldn't pull it, so it finally got so loose, that it just fell out when she was talking! As you can see in the picture, she was obviously a little freaked out at first, but then she got very excited about the Tooth Fairy. That afternoon, I looked on Pinterest to find cute stuff to do for the Tooth Fairy, and found an adorable printable letter from the Tooth Fairy, and a receipt for the tooth, and the idea to put glitter glue (or glitter hairspray, but I didn't have any of that) on a dollar. She was so cute that next morning! She stapled her receipt to her paper, just like they do at the doctor's office (can you tell she comes to a lot of my mom's appointments with us?), and even showed it to the dog!

Then she asked me to Google how the Tooth Fairy gets in her room. Did you know that the Tooth Fairy has her own website? It has the story of how she became the Tooth Fairy, and the answers to just about any question a kid could have about it. http://toothfairyland.com/

Another change is that a couple weeks ago, I had morning sickness, was exhausted, the whole shebang - felt as pregnant as could be...turned out to just be a raging case of PMS (sorry, TMI), but during that time, I found out that my husband is definitely okay with having another baby. This is very big, and great news! I have wanted another baby for a long time now, but until recently, he has not been on board with that idea. However, since my mom moved into our baby room, we have no space (unless it was a girl, and then she could just bunk with the other two, but since that is not guaranteed, we need a bigger house). Hence, the house hunting. I'm actively trying now, paying more attention to what my body tells me, so here's hoping! I don't get pregnant easily, so a prayer or two would be nice, too.

Also, we finally finished getting my mom's condo ready to show yesterday, even vacuumed! It wasn't as stressful and upsetting as I thought it would be, so that's good. I think it's because I know that Mark is okay with another baby anyway, and we're looking for a bigger house (he finally got over his temper-tantrum, and we've all found one in Brownsburg that we like). I think most of my being upset was that I felt like it was my mom or another baby, and I had chosen my mom, so the baby thing was gone forever. Now, we have a plan, and it'll be okay, still having another one.

One last (not as happy) change, is that they don't think my mom has MS anymore. They think it's a genetic disorder (one of two, actually) - either Tay Sachs or Niemann-Pick. Both are found most commonly in Ashkenazi Jewish people, and both of my mom's parents were Ashkenazi Jews. When I was pregnant, they tested me to see if I am a carrier for Tay Sachs, and I am. My dad (we're pretty sure) was descended from Western Europeans (England, France), so I could only have become a carrier for Tay Sachs from my mom's side. 1 in 27 Ashkenazi Jews are at least carriers. I don't know the stats for Niemann-Pick offhand, but it also runs in higher numbers in the Ashkenazi Jewish population. Both diseases are very rare for adults to get, but it is possible. Neither one has a prevention or treatment. Niemann-Pick is a death sentence, Tay Sachs is bad too, but doesn't have an expiration date. She had a blood test on Friday to check for these things, and we haven't heard back yet. She keeps asking me if she's positive, and that's what she has, if I'll get tested too. I've decided that unless and until there is some kind of prevention, or treatment for it, I don't want to know. I don't want to spend my next 30 years or so, knowing I have it, and wondering when it will strike. I would rather live my life without that added stress and fear.

As awful and scary, as both of these new possibilities are, they both fit what's been happening very well...they both start with a psychotic break, or extreme depression (depressive break, I think it's called), and then go on to mimic MS. At the beginning of this nightmare, my mom attempted suicide. Her grandfather, interestingly enough, committed suicide at 62 (her age), but was loving and sweet, and fine before that. We wonder now, if he had one of those diseases too, and if he had survived his attempt, if he would have gone on to have similar symptoms to her. We don't know much about her dad's side, as most of them were killed in concentration camps. Her mom's side got out a generation before that, and so they had time to scatter - there's a branch of red-headed Romm's in Israel, a branch of Rom's in Russia still (I think), and then the Rome's in the US.

Anyway, like I said, a lot of changes. Prayers are always welcome.

Dana

Rant and Rave

Okay, I try really hard, usually, to not complain about stuff, but I just have to let off some steam here. My husband, my mom and I started looking at getting a bigger house recently, so we would have the space to put another baby, should we be blessed with another. My husband found one about triple the size, with a giant fenced in yard on the west side of Danville that he is totally in love with. Last night, we all said we could go look at it. Then, my mom thought about it some more, and decided she doesn't want to live out that far from our support people, and from home care companies, etc. After she explained her reasons to me, it made sense, and so I told my husband, who basically threw a temper tantrum like a two-year old, and said it was the west side of Danville or nothing, and if we can't get that house, then we aren't moving.


Seriously???....


Yes, seriously. After I pointed out to him, that he was acting like a two-year old, and that marriage is about communication and compromise (never mind the fact that we aren't even close to being READY to move), he calmed down some, and said maybe we could just take a break from looking for awhile. He said that he was just overwhelmed and trying to get bills caught up, and figure out how to do the repairs we would have to do before we could move, etc., etc., etc. I told him that if he would ever TALK to me about stuff, we could figure it out together, how to do it, and maybe he wouldn't be so overwhelmed. I told him he isn't an island, and that I'm here. I did also mention the fact that him being so mad over something so stupid was making me mad. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that last part, or the part about him acting like a two-year old. Oops. Then again, it was all true.

It's not like we're going to move somewhere he hates, just like we aren't going to move somewhere I hate. We have time to find the perfect house. We aren't in a hurry, and he needs to get over it! Even if I were to get pregnant now, we would have 9 months until there was a baby who needed space, and even after that, about the first year, it would probably sleep with us anyway. That's close to two years minimum before we would need a bigger place. Plenty of time to find the perfect house. So, if you wouldn't mind saying a prayer for my sanity, his patience, another baby, and the perfect house, that would be awesome!!!

Okay, rant over. Thanks for listening(?)...reading(?)...whatever.

:-)


Dana