Tuesday, February 18, 2014


Well, not only did we all survive the evaluation process today, but it was actually about 4 hours shorter than expected, and much less painful! I think it went really well, too, although we won't know anything for sure until we go to court in 2 weeks.
I have no idea what happened in Chocolate Chip's interview. I'm dying to know, but don't want to ask her. Emma apparently was polite, and said she loves playing with her Sissy. Whew!!

As an added bonus, I got an old purse out this morning, and was carefully going through it to check for "dangerous" objects like nail clippers, or a nail file to make the security check smooth and easy, and found my favorite earrings, that I promise I've been looking for for at least 2 years!!

What a day! I'm so relieved that the big evaluation is over, I can't even explain it. Now, all that's left to do is wait. Two weeks until court, and hopefully we'll have an answer that day.

Anyway, thanks so much for all the prayers and kind words! They've meant so much!


Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sleepless in Indianapolis

So, if you didn't already know, we lost custody of Chocolate Chip to her father a week before her 5th birthday (she'll be 11 in 3 weeks). It was sudden, unexpected, and horrible, preceded by a very long, complicated court battle. This Tuesday (in 2 days), we are going to be evaluated to see about getting her back. Me, Mark, Chocolate Chip, Emma, Chocolate Chip's father, and his wife all have to go downtown to be interviewed. It will likely last all day. (Prayers are VERY much appreciated)

I have 3 wonderful friends who have volunteered to come watch over my mom for me in shifts all day, so she won't be alone. In the last week or so, she has been falling &/ fainting regularly, so that she can't even be trusted to walk to the bathroom alone.

Anyway, my lawyer told me that whatever these people on Tuesday decide, is pretty much what the court does, so it's EXTREMELY important. At first, I had no idea what to expect, and thought these people would come to the house, and probably wouldn't want to talk to Emma much. Well, they don't want to see the house, so I guess that's one less thing to worry about. However, Emma gets her own interview. By herself. When I first found out they would be talking to her, I told Emma she would have to talk to somebody about Sissy alone, and not to be scared or nervous. She said "well, that's easy. I'll just tell them that they're just stupid. I just want my Sissy." *sigh*

Then there's Chocolate Chip, who has always been scared of her own shadow, and very shy. Plus, I'm sure her father and stepmother have been coaching her on what to say. *deep breath*

Then there's the fact that it's supposed to be an ALL DAY process, with two kids who are essentially only children most of the time, but really siblings, stuck in a small waiting room. I just wanna cry at the thought. I'm trying so hard not to think about it, not to worry about it, and to trust God, but there's SO MUCH that could go wrong. I don't know that I would survive it if the judge says Chocolate Chip has to stay with her father. Our court date isn't until March 4 (3 days before Chocolate Chip's birthday). I don't even know if I should be expecting a decision at court, or if we'll have to wait.

I just can't wait for the whole thing to be over. Really. Really can't wait. Can we just fast forward the next few weeks?


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Original or Extra Crunchy?

So, in case you didn't know, this winter has been TERRIBLE!!! It all started when we got 11" of snow, followed by -13º F temperatures BEFORE the wind chill. It would warm up just enough to slightly melt the snow, and snow some more, get super cold again, rinse, and repeat. Needless to say, we've hardly gone anywhere, or done much of anything. We get out for Mass, grocery, and that's pretty much it. It's just so hard to push a wheelchair in sludge, ice, and snow. Plus, it has been SOOOO COLD!!!

That leads me to my mom. Still no firm diagnosis, and she finally put a stop to testing. Whatever it is, it's definitely getting worse again. She hardly has an appetite anymore, and sometimes goes all day without eating. If she tries to eat when she doesn't feel hungry, she gets super nauseous, and feels miserable.

Anyway, we finally got out of the house (for fun) yesterday, and went to a friend's house for a playdate. While we were there, we were talking, and the mom asked me about flu shots. I said I used to, but not anymore, I just use Thieves Oil instead. She said, "yeah, I thought you were crunchier than that". "Crunchy". I'd seen/heard the term used here and there on Facebook, but really didn't know what it meant. So I Googled. Turns out, I am fairly crunchy. "Crunchy" refers to the crunch of granola, which is stereotypically the snack of choice for these moms. That was a relief, because I thought it referred to a lack of hygiene! LOL Click here for a quiz to see how crunchy you are. I scored a 93. If you want more info about Crunchy vs. Silky (the opposite of Crunchy) vs. Scrunchy (somewhere in between), this blog looks good.

If you don't feel like clicking, here's the gist of what being crunchy entails (as I understand it):

* Breastfeeding exclusively, and child-led weaning (even if that means the child can expressly ask for it at age 3, 4, whatever) - Chocolate Chip physically couldn't breastfeed, and Emma had to be weaned just before she turned 1, because she kept pushing me away while suckling, bringing me to tears regularly.

* Wearing only skirts - yes, as of last summer, in an attempt at modesty.

* Homeschool or un-school - Absolutely!

* Eating your placenta - Ew! No!

* Cloth diapering - never have, but would at least try it if we have another baby.

* Co-sleeping - only logical when you breastfeed. Did it with Emma, would do it again.

* Baby wearing - totally would.

* Not vaccinating/only selectively vaccinating &/ using essential oils in place of/to supplement modern medicine - YES! I don't think I'll be vaccinating anymore, or if I do, it'll take some serious convincing. I've come to believe quite strongly in the healing power of essential oils, and what a gift from God they are.

* Growing &/ buying only organic - not there yet, but I could see doing it at some point.

There's others too, but that gives you an idea. Crunchy, Silky, or Scrunchy, it's all good. Just follow your heart, trust God, and all will be well. ♡