Sunday, May 18, 2014

Wonderful, Memorable Weekend

Our beloved priest, Father Magiera, who moved to Arkansas last summer, was back in Indy for one glorious weekend to do the wedding Mass of a friend of his. We were fortunate enough to get him to come over and bless our house yesterday. It was awesome! While he was here, he made some blessed salt and a jug of holy water. He also blessed a crucifix that I got to hang in my room, a crucifix for Chocolate Chip's room, a couple pictures, and a statue of Mary that Emma brought him to bless.
As Father walked around the house, throwing holy water in every room and closet, Chocolate Chip carried the jug of holy water for him, and Emma carried the lid. It was so sweet! Chocolate Chip hardly left his side the whole time he was here. She missed him so much! Towards the end of his visit, he mentioned to us that the wedding Mass was at 3 pm, and that it would fulfill our Sunday obligation, and that it was a Mass, so anyone could go (we hadn't been invited)...
So, we went to the wedding. It was beautiful! I had threatened both kids on the way there, that they had better be on their very best behavior, especially since we hadn't been invited. They were pretty good, until right in the middle, when Emma lost yet another tooth (#5), and it bled, and bled, and bled. Of course, Emma is my hypochondriac, gets-freaked-out-by-the-tiniest-speck-of-blood kid. So, we had whining and crying. I rushed her out to the narthex, as we were sitting all the way in the back, right by the cameras and video equipment...of course, right? I got her to the bathroom to take a closer look, and the stupid tooth was flapping, and sideways, but WOULD NOT come all the way out. I knew it wouldn't stop bleeding until it was out, and I got her to bite on paper towel, so I finally was able to pull the stupid thing out. It still didn't stop bleeding for several minutes afterwards. What a mess! Then I was stuck with a tooth to hold (no pockets) for the last half of Mass.

Lol So, I had Emma whining about her tooth and that she wanted to go home, and Chocolate Chip was whining because it was almost over, which meant that Father Magiera would be leaving us again! Finally, I got Emma off of me in time to get a decent spot to record Father Magiera's beautiful "Ite Missa Est" at the end of Mass.

The video isn't the best, but the important part is his voice anyway. :-)
Hopefully, it comes through okay...
God Bless,

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Trying to Find Joy

This post is a couple of days late, but this is the first opportunity I've had to write, where I really felt up to writing. On May 13 last year, my mom attempted suicide, and that was also the start of her more severe symptoms. On May 13 this year, we found out we will not be getting custody of Chocolate Chip. The year in between was spent taking care of mom, packing up and moving two homes into one, and mourning a child. I honestly don't know how I would have survived the past two May 13's and everything in between without God's Grace and my wonderful husband with my sanity still intact.

Our big court date was supposed to be on June 6, and as far as I knew going into it, the mediation on May 13 was only a formality, and was going to just be a waste of time and money. I was not at all prepared for leaving that building with our decision. Anyway, I go in, and was relieved to find out that it wasn't going to be like anything I had seen on t.v., where everyone is in the same room, fighting over a table. We were in totally separate rooms, and the mediator went back and forth between our rooms.

While the mediator was off talking to him, my lawyer tells me that Chocolate Chip is doing well in school, isn't grotesquely overweight, and has friends. Her father doesn't drive drunk, or beat his wife, and while I should be proud of the changes I've made in my life, and how well I'm doing, I'd only have a 5% chance of getting full custody. So, rather than spend all those extra lawyer fees, only to end up where we started, I agreed to slightly more time with her during the year, a decent increase in time during the summer (starting next year), and I would pay more money. At the time, all I could see was that I had given her away, while I paid more money. I was heartbroken...again. I must say, though, I'm getting pretty good at juggling my crosses.

Today we went to Chocolate Chip's school for an event, and when it was time to go, I literally had to pry Emma off of her, and carry her out, crying. Then, we get home, and Emma helps me plant some flowers I had gotten for Mother's Day. She wanted to plant one on Charlotte's grave, so we did that. All while my dying mother laid down for a nap. See? Pretty good at juggling! *sigh*

So, my new project assigned to me by a wonderful, motherly friend that I met on Facebook, is to try to find some joy. Who knew joy could be so hard to find, and so elusive?

I've known mom was not going to get better for quite a while now, and I've had peace and been able to find joy.

Charlotte died, and after only a month, I've had peace and been able to find joy.

Now this. I'm more at peace today, but seeing Emma this afternoon broke me right in half. I'm working on joy. Any suggestions? I'm totally open to ideas!

Thanks for any prayers, and God Bless all my friends and readers.

Sunday, May 11, 2014


For at least a year now, I've been feeling like God had put scapulars, most especially the Brown Scapular, on my heart. I really learned most about the Brown Scapular when Chocolate Chip was enrolled in it at her First Communion last May. I had also learned about the Green Scapular in searching for different tools to help my husband convert.

Every now and then, I would feel an extra nudge or a reminder about scapulars. A friend would mention that she had been thinking of getting one, I would see tell-tale brown strings around the necks of friends and fellow homeschoolers. Then, at the healing Mass that we went to, Fr. told me I needed to get myself and my husband Green Scapulars. That finally did it. The next chance I got, I went to our favorite Catholic bookstore, and bought 2 Green Scapulars, a Brown Scapular, and a new rosary of Our Lady of Sorrows (long story for another time). I then emailed my priest a couple days ago, and asked to have them blessed along with Emma's new crucifix she had gotten the same day (really cute, quick side note: she wanted a crucifix for her room, and when we were talking about where to hang it, she demanded it be right by her bed so she can pray with Jesus at bedtime. How sweet is that?!), and to be enrolled in the Brown Scapular.

So, today, on Mother's Day (what better day to give Our Mother the gift of myself?) after Mass, I was enrolled in the Brown Scapular, and am now wearing my crucifix and Miraculous Medal on my chain, and a brown scapular, and a green scapular. Fr. suggested possibly sewing the two scapulars together somehow, as they can get kind of unwieldy. Yeah, I'm getting that already...

Anyway, so the brown scapular was given to St. Simon Stock by Our Lady in 1251, and Mary basically promised him that whoever faithfully wears the Brown Scapular, lives chastely according to their vocation (married, single, etc), and prays the rosary daily, will not suffer eternal torment. Here's a good website if you want to learn more about it. This website offers free Brown Scapulars if you're interested. I've heard (not 100% sure if it's true, but sounds legit) that anyone, even non-Catholics can be invested in the Brown Scapular, but that only Catholic priests can (and are generally the only ones willing to) invest someone in it.

The Green Scapular has two general purposes: for conversion, and for healing. The priest at the healing Mass told me that my husband needs one for conversion, and that I could use one for emotional and physical healing. Well, since that healing Mass, I don't really feel like I need anymore emotional healing (seriously, it was like a miracle!!!), but I don't know how I am physically, so I'm mostly wearing it for that. Here's a great website about the Green Scapular if you want more information.


On a very disturbing side note, Harvard University is sponsoring (hosting? I can't remember their exact role at the moment, but it's a significant one) a Black Mass tomorrow night. If you're unfamiliar with what that exactly is, it's a satanic ritual where the Catholic Mass is mocked and twisted. They take out any reference to God, Mary, or the saints, and put in Satan and the names of demons in their places. They also use a naked woman as the altar, and when possible, use a consecrated host (Jesus) in their unholy ceremony. Please pray very hard that this event will be cancelled, and that those involved in this darkness will find the Light of Christ before it is too late.

Some ideas to pray and make reparation for this atrocity could be to fast, pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet (Have mercy on us, and on the whole world!), pray the rosary, pray the St. Michael the Archangel prayer (St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Power of God, cast into Hell Satan, and all the evil spirits who prowl about the earth, seeking the ruin of souls. Amen), pray the St. Michael the Archangel Chaplet, just PRAY!!!

May God richly Bless you, my friends!