Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sleepless in Indianapolis

So, if you didn't already know, we lost custody of Chocolate Chip to her father a week before her 5th birthday (she'll be 11 in 3 weeks). It was sudden, unexpected, and horrible, preceded by a very long, complicated court battle. This Tuesday (in 2 days), we are going to be evaluated to see about getting her back. Me, Mark, Chocolate Chip, Emma, Chocolate Chip's father, and his wife all have to go downtown to be interviewed. It will likely last all day. (Prayers are VERY much appreciated)

I have 3 wonderful friends who have volunteered to come watch over my mom for me in shifts all day, so she won't be alone. In the last week or so, she has been falling &/ fainting regularly, so that she can't even be trusted to walk to the bathroom alone.

Anyway, my lawyer told me that whatever these people on Tuesday decide, is pretty much what the court does, so it's EXTREMELY important. At first, I had no idea what to expect, and thought these people would come to the house, and probably wouldn't want to talk to Emma much. Well, they don't want to see the house, so I guess that's one less thing to worry about. However, Emma gets her own interview. By herself. When I first found out they would be talking to her, I told Emma she would have to talk to somebody about Sissy alone, and not to be scared or nervous. She said "well, that's easy. I'll just tell them that they're just stupid. I just want my Sissy." *sigh*

Then there's Chocolate Chip, who has always been scared of her own shadow, and very shy. Plus, I'm sure her father and stepmother have been coaching her on what to say. *deep breath*

Then there's the fact that it's supposed to be an ALL DAY process, with two kids who are essentially only children most of the time, but really siblings, stuck in a small waiting room. I just wanna cry at the thought. I'm trying so hard not to think about it, not to worry about it, and to trust God, but there's SO MUCH that could go wrong. I don't know that I would survive it if the judge says Chocolate Chip has to stay with her father. Our court date isn't until March 4 (3 days before Chocolate Chip's birthday). I don't even know if I should be expecting a decision at court, or if we'll have to wait.

I just can't wait for the whole thing to be over. Really. Really can't wait. Can we just fast forward the next few weeks?



  1. One of my friends recommended that I dedicate Tuesday to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through Mary. Here is a beautiful prayer that I intend to pray on Tuesday morning before we leave. I thought I'd share in case anyone else felt the need for extra help one day:

    Dear Jesus, I know that your Sacred Heart is sorrowful because so many people neither love you nor trust in you. Behold, Lord, here I am. Though weak and sinful, I love you and I trust in you. I intend that all my actions this day be for the purpose of consoling you. Heavenly Father, in union with all the Masses being offered today, I give you praise and thanks for the many gifts you will send me, including the gift of my small sharing in the Cross.

    May this my prayer glorify you and console your Son. With the help of your grace, I resolve to remain all day in this prayerful spirit of praise and thanks and, further, to console Jesus by being merciful to my neighbor through my deeds, words, and prayers.

    Mary, my mother, come with your spouse the Spirit. Make my sacrifice of praise, thanks, and mercy a most pleasing consolation to your Son. Behold, I present to you all I am and have. Take my offering so it may pass through your Immaculate Heart, to Jesus’ Sacred Heart, and on to the Father, for his greater glory. Amen.

  2. I CANNOT imagine what state I would be in, in your shoes. You hang on, D. You know Who to hang on to.