Sunday, November 23, 2014

Happy Birthday, Charlotte Marie

Today should have been Charlotte's birthday (approximately). Needless to say, I've been having a hard day. Okay, a hard week and a crappy day, if I'm being totally honest.

Recap from the week:
Monday we had a smallish fire in the garage (smallish in that the house is still standing and everyone is okay, but we DID have the fire department out here), and the cat ran away. Thankfully, our AWESOME puppy (not quite 4 months old) took her leash in her mouth and took me to the cat, who was hiding in a bush behind a neighbor's house. Things were a little better until Friday. Friday, Emma and I were on our way to a field trip when I got pulled over because the plates on my mom's car were expired. Apparently the notification had gone to an old address, so I had no idea. Fun. Then, as soon as I got done talking to the cop, the low tire pressure light came on. *sigh* Turned out to just be from the cold, and a very nice tire man helped me air it up for free. Still... Then, that evening I found out that a friend of mine had just suffered a miscarriage. My own miscarriage came flooding back to me, and thinking about another woman going through that so close to my due date just broke me right in half.

Fast forward to today. My meltdown about the day really started yesterday, when I found myself sobbing in the shower. Thought I was doing fairly decently until it was time to go up for communion at Mass today, and I saw tiny newborns being carried by their mothers. I lost it. I managed to hold back the tears until I got back to my pew, but then they flowed freely. Even Emma, who struggles with empathy kept staring at me, and finally gave me a big hug. Finally made it home, and I'm doing better again now.

Anyway, I kept meaning to post, and have all sorts of ideas, but I have had close to zero motivation lately. It's just been a super crappy year, and I'm totally over it. Can we just fast forward to 2015 already? I'm done with this one.


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